Jul 6, 2010

Posted in 2010s, Films Categories, George, Japan, Reviewers

Alien vs Ninja (2010)

Alien vs Ninja (2010)

Whoever came up with the idea was a GENIUS!!

Ninjas and Aliens…probably a guy dressed in a Flipper like dolphin rubber suit.  Nonetheless, it’s without a doubt the coolest concept ever conceived.  That’s right baby, Japan is throwing you their extreme horror so be ready for it because their kung fu is strong!

When you go see these kinds of movies, they are way crazier than films like “Wild Zero” and “Versus“, and those films were already pretty nuts to begin with.  In my opinion, the current movies don’t even make any sense.  They’re not good in the traditional meaning of the word but they are mind-boggling and amazing at the same time.  If you like these types of movies, they push the form into pure absurd balls-out bliss.

I was lucky enough to watch this movie at the Japan Society in N.Y.C during its world premier, we actually saw it before the Japanese.  I also learned that Nikkatsu Studio created a new label for extreme gore films called “Sushi Typhoon”.  This label should bring together some of Japan’s greatest gore directors such as Noboru Iguchi (Machine Girl and Robo-Geisha), Yoshihiro Nishimura (Tokyo Gore Police), Sion Sono, and several other directors.  Their first label release is this film, “Alien vs. Ninja” by Yuji Shimomura, who is also known for directing, “Devil May Cry” and “Death Trance”.

I have to say, that while waiting for the movie to start with my friends, two ninjas came running down the aisle of the theater, and one flipped in the air and landed on the ground.  A few seconds later, Director Iguchi and Nishimura came out dressed in diapers!  Needless to say the crowd went wild!  Now when I say diapers, I mean the uniform Sumo wrestlers fight in…only in New York folks, only in New York will you see that!

Plot:

Once upon a time in Japan, there was a band of great Ninja warriors led by Yamata called Iga Ninja. One day they witnessed a flash in the sky and a giant roaring ball of flames crashing in the forest. The warriors rushed into the woods in an attempt to identify the mysterious fireball but instead of finding predictable enemies, they were stunned to face never before see creatures with claws and fangs…the aliens!

The hungry brutal aliens ravaged and feasted on the Ninja warriors, leaving only a few survivors.  Yamata and his warriors swore to avenge their comrades’ deaths and risk their lives to challenge the aliens. However, none of the Ninja weapons, neither their swords nor their throwing stars, have any affect on the alien warriors. The Japanese’s greatest Iga Ninja now faces his biggest challenge ever!!!

The movie had some incredible action scenes but it fell flat when the action stopped and the main actor began acting.  The former action stuntman, Masanori Mimoto, made strange facial expressions when he needed to be dramatic.  At one point during the movie, a friend of mine commented that he looked constipated.  The way Jackie Chan looks when he fights, if you know what I mean…LOL!

Maybe someday this will be the wittiest movie ever to air at 2:00am on the SyFy Channel.  I have to say that the effects look cheaper than cheap, with laughable rubber dismembered limbs, and alien blood that looked like salad dressing straight out of the bottle. Despite that, the cast appeared impressively unaware that they were starring in a trashy movie.  They attacked their roles with impressive commitment.

Unlike the tedious repetition of most stock-and-trade American monster movies, “Alien vs. Ninja” does not just stick to 90 minutes of creatures striking from the shadows.  Be prepared for a wide array of thrills: jump scares, karate fights, alien splatters, and even some creatively choreographed wirework.

In addition, Mika Hijii, is just gorgeous!  For hard-core fans, this film offered plenty of blood, guts, grey matter and everything else to please you.  These aliens had one soul purpose, which was to destroy anything that crossed their gore-encrusted path.

An excellent movie to watch with friends after several rounds of beer because one thing is certain: YOU WILL LAUGH YOUR TOOSHY OFF!

– By George


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